


if the seas catch fire

by jillyfae



Series: live by love: codas & interludes [7]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: 3b Trailer, Angst, Canon Compliant, Ficlet Collection, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-23
Updated: 2019-03-05
Packaged: 2019-11-04 08:28:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 982
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17895026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jillyfae/pseuds/jillyfae
Summary: Love, loss, and picking yourself back up again as many times as necessary: season 3b reaction ficlets





	1. 3B trailer: (not) dying

**Author's Note:**

> dive for dreams  
> or a slogan may topple you  
> (trees are their roots  
> and wind is wind)
> 
> trust your heart  
> if the seas catch fire  
> (and live by love  
> though the stars walk backward)
>
>> e.e. cummings, ["five poems"](https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poetrymagazine/issue/70795/june-1952)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [anon prompt: “Dying is a lot more painful than I thought it would be.”](http://faejilly.tumblr.com/post/182982560268)

Magnus wakes up, staring at his bedroom ceiling, an odd phantom ache in his chest that’s almost familiar; it’s more a memory of an injury than actual pain.

_Broken ribs._

Magically healed broken ribs. That’s… not something he’s felt in a very long time.

He coughs, and holds in a wince; it feels like it’s going to hurt, but it’s more memory than reality, more pressure than pain.

“Morning.” Alec’s voice is a sigh of relief more than a greeting, and Magnus turns his head to offer him something that’s almost a smile.  


He also lifts his eyebrows in lieu of bothering to ask out loud.

“Your heart stopped.”

Magnus’ eyes widen but he doesn’t know what to say to that, how to recognize that, what to do with it.

Alec’s eyes close, and he swallows, and breathing hurts in Magnus’ soul rather than his chest.

Alec’s eyes open again. “Luckily Izzy and Clary both know CPR, which kept you…” He can’t finish the sentence.

That does explain the ribs.

“Until Cat could get to you.”

_Oh._

Magnus slides his arm sideways, reaching, and Alec reaches back, both hands gripping painfully tight, his body curving until his forehead is pressed to the back of Magnus hand. He’s not crying, but his shoulders are taut and there’s a tremble in the air he exhales against Magnus’ fingers.

Magnus rolls sideways until he can touch with his other hand as well, until his hand half-disappears in Alec’s hair, until he can feel Alec’s head against his palm. “I’m sorry.”

“Magnus…” Alec’s breath stutters so hard Magnus can hear it, can feel it against his skin. Somehow his spine curves down even further, his weight pushing against the bones in Magnus’ hand.

“Cat tried every magical diagnostic she could think of, and a few I think she made up on the spot.”

Magnus curls his fingers, makes himself relax them afterwards, thinks more about the feel of Alec’s hair moving between them than what happened. He doesn’t want to know.

Magnus knows, he doesn’t want to _hear._

“Your body, without your magic.” Alec swallows. “Your circulatory system is under too much stress, trying to adjust. It might even out, but.” He makes a noise in his throat, sharp and tearing and this time Magnus has to close his eyes.

It might _not._

He wants to apologize again, for causing Alec such pain, but he knows that won’t help. Alec will just apologize back, blaming himself for Magnus’ choices.

Choices he’d make again, even now. Though maybe with a few more tantrums along the way.

Magnus curls his fingers and tugs. Alec sniffs, hard and deep, and follows the pull until he’s up on the bed next to Magnus, until his head is tucked under Magnus’ chin and their bodies are wrapped around each other as much as possible.

Neither of them can see the future; Magnus wishes, just once, their odds of having one together would get better rather than worse.


	2. 3x11: "respect"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [BECAUSE JIA PENHALLOW YOU GUYS. (I have a problem. Don't fix it for me, I'm enjoying it too much.)](http://faejilly.tumblr.com/post/183250781588)

Jia knew Alec Lightwood was dangerous.

She’d known well before most of her colleagues, all of whom were clambering to to shower praise in his direction now, determined to ride the wave of his success as far up as possible.

Idiots.

Thinking he’d let them. They all underestimated him.

But she was dangerous, too.

Most of the Council tended to underestimate her, too. She might not be as overtly aggressive as Malachi, but that didn’t make her soft. They seemed to forget that.

Alec never did. She could tell when he met her gaze, chin up and eyes dark and steady. He was astute enough to recognize her capabilities. 

Jia knew how to be gracious, how to hide a threat until her victim barely felt it prick against their skin. Young Lightwood did not, quite, but he was capable of a studious, enduring sort of politeness, a thick enough wall he could keep anyone out. It was sort of impressive, really, how personable he could be, considering how little he liked to prevaricate.  He didn’t _like_ the fake courtesies that politics sometimes required, but just because he didn’t like them didn’t mean he wasn’t _capable_ of them. 

He never tried to play her, though, never tried to hide his disdain for the Clave policies he disliked. Never thought she was fooled by his manners, never dropped his gaze from hers when she spoke. Never showed her an ounce of disrespect.

They were not allies, but she could not begrudge him a measure of respect in return, more than most had earned over the years.

Perhaps there was a bit of nostalgia there as well, for the both of them. They both remembered a different time, different lives, a brief moment when he and Aline had been children and she’d been able to just be a mother.

She’d never _just_  been a mother. Nephilim were never just one thing, they couldn’t afford to be, couldn’t afford to set down their duty, not even for their children.

Perhaps even then, Alec hadn’t just been a child.

Jia couldn’t remember being a child. She’d been a soldier, a wife, a mother, a leader. Now she was Consul. She _was_  her people, and she would stand for them whether they knew what she stood for or not.

She would do what was necessary. She would make the Clave do what was necessary. She knew how to influence them. She knew when to push, when to let them think they were the ones doing the pushing. She knew when to be gracious, when to hint around a threat, when to show her claws.

Alec knew her claws were there whether she showed them or not. Perhaps it was relief then, that caused her to smile at him, to bare her teeth. 

Alec knew exactly where they stood with each other. No reason to pretend otherwise, not here, not now.


End file.
